What did we do last night that was yellow?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
