I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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