his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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