I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
