and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
