Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
