There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There r osticjed everywhere
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
