Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
