ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
