He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
