I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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