they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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