...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize