shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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