he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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