I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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