why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
