So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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