my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
