you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
