Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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