Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
bring money and cleavage
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
