im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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