You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
