Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
