I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
MIDGETS
????
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
