he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
