you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
