Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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