I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
