I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We have started to decorate penises.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
