Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
