Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
