Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I forget how to act sober
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
