Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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