you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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