Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
