the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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