have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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