So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
