doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
