So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
