If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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