im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
