3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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