Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
