i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i dont even know how to be here
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
