We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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