I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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