Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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