that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
