Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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