I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't deserve a penis
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
did i just pee glitter
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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